An uplist for people who want to remove unpleasant habits and develop personal qualities that bring about a favourable regard.
Listen to other people talk about themselves, and remember what they say. Bring it up later in the conversation or next time you see them and you'll get win at likability.
In conversation, be interested, not interesting.
Don't try to show people how smart you are.
The ability to laugh at yourself. SO important. The only people I haven't found likable are the ones who take themselves and life too seriously. Its like, what's your deal? Are you a robot?
Never look at your phone, or get distracted when someone is talking to you. Learn to keep eye contact and show interest.
"When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion." - Dale Carnegie
Don't try to solve other people's problems when they just want someone to listen to and comfort them. Resist all urges, and just give them a shoulder to lean on.
Ask favours from people.
Very counter-intuitive, but it works. Loads of research has gone into this, and Benjamin Franklin even pointed out the power of this simple trick in his autobiography (see Ben Franklin Effect
Be loving, be nice, acknowledge and smile at everyone, talk to everyone. Just radiate positivity and happiness and be genuinely interested in what people have to say.
When someone is having a difficult time, don't try to "one up" their suffering. Implying that they should not be upset because someone else has it worse only makes people feel worse.
When listening to someone, make sure you slip in little nods and affirmations that you get what they're saying - but don't try to finish sentences for them!
Be vulnerable every now and then, open up to people, show them that you're human. It does sound cliche, but it's important that you're not just a utopian smiling robot whose only emotion is happiness.
Remembering that everybody else isn't a supporting character in a movie with you as the protagonist.
I hate saying this, but "fake it till you make it" DOES work. You have to fake interest in other people until it becomes natural. Most people are so accustomed to talking about themselves that they get bored listening to others - it takes practice to get over this, and eventually (if you don't already) you'll be able to enjoy listening to others (it's great to see someone get so passionate because someone (you) is finally listening, instead of interrupting).
If you've got strong beliefs, and they clash with someone elses, put them aside and just talk to them human-to-human.
When you meet someone try to use their name in conversation. Something subliminal makes them like you more because of it. Having said this, be careful; most people are aware of this trick and it can come off as a bit call centre customer retention department if not used with caution.
Don't turn every conversation into a story about you. We all know those people who have a better story than the one you're telling right now.
Being agreeable doesn't mean agreeing with everything they say. If you look like you're trying to suck up to them, they'll be put off.
Don't be ashamed of what you're into. We all have different tastes, and just because it's "uncool" to like a certain band, or movie, or book, doesn't mean anything is wrong with you for liking it.
Be open, accepting. Roll with everything.
We've all had a friend whose borrowed money and then forgotten about it until you remind them - make sure you're not that friend. Always pay people back as soon as possible (even better: add an extra few dollars for their trouble).
Obvious one: Don't challenge what people say. Doesn't mean you have to agree with everything - just don't blatently disagree and try to show them that they are wrong.
Be friendly, but not a pushover. There is a fine line between being likeable with respect, or being likeable because people can do what they will to you. Being a tryhard is painfully obvious and does more harm than good. Be the friendly guy that loves to chat, but sticks to his ideals and stands his ground.
In conversation with someone new, try to work out what the persons interests as soon as possible. Talk about them and be interested. If they love doing poetry, then next time you see them again, ask how their poetry is going and if they're working on anything new. It's important that you show genuine interest and that you're not just asking questions and the staring blankly at them as they talk about their passions.
Smiling with your eyes is soo important. A large part of being likable is just smiling, but if you've just got a forced-looking mouth smile you're not having the effect that you're intending.
Remember: you will bond better with people by listening, not talking.
Don't be a person who wants to have a conversation, but doesn't want to contribute to it. What I mean is these people talk to you by mostly asking questions. Questions are great in conversations, but they can be abused to the point where you are forcing the other person to carry the conversation. It's exhausting and you end up just wanting the conversation to be over.
Laugh loudly at other peoples jokes. Makes the other person feel good and look good in front of everyone else around you.
Have good posture, but don't give off a rigid look.
Compliment people for things that they don't normally recieve compliments about. Keep an eye out for things you like about people that aren't cliches. Here's some to show you what I mean: "You always do what you say you're going to do." "You weren't lying, she is pretty!" "You know Jim, you don't always say much, but when you do, it's always worth hearing." "Your son has wonderful manners." "You're the most genuine person I know." "You're not that fat for an American." "You have the nicest handwriting."
Smile even if you think it makes you look stupid
Don't listen to the advice "Just be yourself." Yourself is changing all the time as you improve and learn new things.
Show your emotions through your voice. When you're happy, talk happy! I have a naturally monotonous voice, and I sound like I'm uninterested 90% of the time. Don't be like me.
Don't judge or mock people for opening up to you. Tell them you understand how they feel.
Be a leader. People will relax around you when they know that you are self-directed.
As a general guide, make fun of yourself about as much as you make fun of others (jokingly teasing others and yourself can built rapport really fast).